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Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? He was a churchgoer with many framed Bible quotes in his office, he wore sweater-vests, he talked like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons. Experiences are extremely informed sources of information.

This is the wrong social feedback loop and sometimes you just gotta be the one who fixes it. If these assholes are feeling consequences for what they are like, you are doing something right.

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Say something especially if you have privilege relative to the people who are being targeted.

And predators consciously groom and choose people around them to be their defenders and spokespeople, the exact same way they groom their victims. You might get talked over by people who are afraid to do what you did. Maybe you are not their Basic Humanity Tutor.

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Could we reverse the current of social pressure that teaches victims not to speak up so that awkwardness flows toward perpetrators? Sometimes what I value is protecting myself and other people from the harm that they do, and the hearts and minds of assholes can be their own fucking business. They are fine with your discomfort as long as you are quiet about it.

My scripts are always gonna work better in your own words. It is a habit and a skill that you can develop with time and practice. The more you do it, the more you feel like you can do it. This hope is why I do what I do.

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Even if you lose your temper or it comes out garbled or you shake or your voice shakes or you cry. An expensive lesson, for everyone.

Get the fuck out of here with that shit, man. Your awesome comeback might come out garbled.

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Be more of a planner, and invite people to hang out one-on-one, or in smaller groups. He often bought lunch for the whole office and brought baked goods from home.

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But your brother is acting like a sexist jerk. And I think there are some additional Geek Social Fallacies at play in the world, and we urgently need to find some ways to deal with them. Sometimes what I value is making the bad thing stop and stop right fucking now. You might stand there alone, while all these people you want so bad to like and believe you let you down. Maybe they feel bad and guilty for not saying something themselves.

You are not responsible for him and you do not have to defend him. Mix a few of the cooler people with friends you know from other social circles. Are you a time traveling Rush Limbaugh intern here to teach us about hackeysack and jam bands? In those cases, you are going to be the best judge of what you can safely do.

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Do what you have to do to survive from one moment to the next. Maybe speaking up is about something else entirely. Feelings are just one kind of information. Finally learn to stop avoiding conflict? It was already ruined, woofer vs subwoofer yahoo dating for you.

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